And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
