i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I look excited, but its just a facade.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
