there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
