Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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