dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
