They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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