Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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