I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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