Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
