i think i have herpe
just one?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
