Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
