Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I supernannyed him into submission
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
