At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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