There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
