He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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