Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
