Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dicks are not precious.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
