So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
