Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
