Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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