I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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