I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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