then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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