FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
