apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
