Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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