I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
