he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
