Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
