I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
