Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
