All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
