i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
