I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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