Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Randomize
