my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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