Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
