My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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