He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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