lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize