I am in a vortex of obligation.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
