no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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