I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
