I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
