dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize