A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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