so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
