you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
