lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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