I want to stick my p in your. b.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
