You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
