You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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